With Arms Wide Open

"Sometimes I think this is what Heaven will look like," he says from across the lake.  In the darkness, I imagine his arm makes a sweeping gesture I have seen before...  fingers extended to pass across the air in front the Body of Christ.  I can feel the Sword in his hand, dividing soul and spirit...   And for a second, I think I can see what he means.   I think I can see what He means. What Heaven might look like. A host of us gathered before the throne... One nation under God. One nation.  Under God. Citizenship. Can I even fathom that? I have to take stock of my heart...  to seek Truth ... to find humility. Because I am cut in half. Flesh/Spirit.  Bone/Marrow. Divided. Where does my loyalty lie? Whose banner do I stand under? I have to take an honest evaluation, not of the answer I want to give... but of the truth of the matter. Could I lay down my personal freedom if it meant another would walk in ete...

Sometimes I despise this body... its frailties... its imperfections... its weaknesses . Somestimes I despise this mind... my wandering thoughts... its lack of organization... the fixation on the inane... and the overlooking of the One thing that matters. Sometimes I despise this heart... this heart that tears in half so easily.  This heart that yearns so deeply... that longs to please. I. Am. Flawed. I am broken.  This world is broken.  Human love is broken. And it's hard. It's hard not to push away when it hurts.  Not to build a wall around my heart.  A fence of offense.  It's hard not to sink into the desire to be self-sufficient.  It's hard not to hear the line... "You don't need anyone.  You don't need Anyone. " It's hard to close my ears to the lie. In case you missed that... It's a lie . The Truth is I Am. I am complete . Created in His image . Not alone.  The truth is that I am covered by a Jesus who fal...