With Arms Wide Open

What if men and women were equal? It's the question we're tackling.  And in the classroom, it has a predetermined end. That's OK.  I know the ultimate predetermined ending, so I can stand on this. But it's there in my heart, longing for answers... that burning question that only He can answer.  What was on Your heart when You made her?  What did You see when You said, "It is good"?  What was it like for her... to walk in perfect communion with You?  How did she stand it... the weight of knowing You... of knowing with perfect clarity that she was fearfully and wonderfully made?  What was it like to be before You as she was?  What kind of woman was she... this dream of Your heart?  This first of us?  What did feminine look like to You? I will study these theories late into the night.  But it's Your heart I long to know. Does it hurt You that we are so divided??  Does the weight of our expectations toward one another... the separations we cause.

In my heart, I am a runner... just like you would expect. I flee from the things that make me uncomfortable. "She wasn't iron when I met her, but she sure is now."  A flinch and a flight.  "That was a beautiful prayer."  Hedge and run.  "You have such a gift."  Beat feet like Fred Flintstone. How many times will I turn my back on what You did without ever pointing to You??  I can't reconcile or wrap my mind around words of encouragement and love.  After all, I know me.   There I am, at the bottom of the spiritual pile. And that anyone would see You and mistake Your work for anything I have done... I run from that.  Cheetah style. Last month, I was blessed to hear a teaching on Peter on the radio.  Let me just say, I am so stinking grateful that Jesus loved Peter.  I have a lot of Pauls in my life.  I need to read about Peter every once in a while to avoid being crippled by spiritual envy. Peter walked on water... and sank.  Peter denie

You're going to think I'm completely arrogant when you read this.  Obviously by now, I am deeply concerned with what you think of me. (That sounded cavalier, but really , I wish I could care a little less.) But here's my take on things: There are entire sections of the Bible that did not even exist before I discovered them. No, really. Sometimes, it's something completely soothing, like how good and perfect He is in the face of all that I am not .  Sometimes it's something bold, like a declaration of His capability .  Sometimes, it is something I desperately need, like a promise of what He is going to do .  Sometimes, it is a reminder, like an alarm clock He sets off in my heart .  Sometimes, it's something that I've read a thousand times before, but He grants me fresh eyes to see . Bits and pieces of Words that cut away the parts of me that don't belong to Him.  Like today. Like today when scripture appeared out of thin air.  Just a breat

Maybe you can look at me and see the chasm.  Maybe that brokenness is evident.  Maybe you can see the scar. Maybe you recently met me, and you found it hard to believe that this fledgling woman has already lived an entire life... and she's still just getting started. Maybe you had been walking with me before The Great Divide, and I left you on the other side.  Rest assured, I will come back for you. I believe that the Lord can change a person right where they are.  I believe He does. But I also believe sometimes He does something radical.  Sometimes He does something unbelievable.  Sometimes He makes something so new... something so wholly different... something unrecognizable.  Just.because.He.can.  Just because He heard the cry of people you had never even met that were praying for you... and neither of you even knew it.  I imagine that from the outside looking in... it would be easy to misunderstand it... easy to miss it... Oh, but from the inside looking out. It

This woman stood up in a high school auditorium... and it was like she spilled all of my secret thoughts to six hundred women. She's so chill.  I'm not even kidding.  She let me hug her.   And at the end of this conference that we had in a local school where she spilled all of my secrets and people took off their shoes to give to the homeless and women loaded up canned goods for missions and two foundations took home ALL of the money raised over the weekend to care for orphans here in the U.S. and there in Africa... all I can do is build an altar with the rubble in my heart... and slide my yes card slowly across the table. (face down so my husband can't read it.)  

There's a peace I've come to know Though my heart and flesh may fail You're rich in love, and You're slow to anger Your Name is great, and Your heart is kind I know that You are for me I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness All of my life in every season You are still God I have a reason to sing I have a reason to worship Your love never fails it never gives up It never runs out on me Lord, I'm amazed by you... how You love me In this place of intimacy I surrender all I surrender all Blessing and honor, strength and glory and power be to You, the only Wise King Savior- He can move the mountains My God is mighty to save Sing to the King who is coming to reign Glory to Jesus, the Lamb that was slain All will see how great, how great is our God Our God is greater, our God is stronger God You are higher than any other All of You is more than enough for all of me I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy The G

I don't know much about marriage.  Truer words were never written.  In fact, a lot of people will tell you that I don't know much about life at all.  I'm only 26.0274 of the way into this gig.  You'll have to forgive my ignorance.  (No, really.  You have to.  Jesus said.) I promised myself I would wait an entire year before I wrote anything about being a wife.  (Clearly, my promises count for a lot.)  But last night we had our umpteenth thousand fight, and I knew that before I could blog about anything else, I had to blog about this.  (God loves me a lot, that He would allow me to share these things with you.) Before we can continue, let me set up the framework.  My dear husband is a nerd.  Before he took Financial Peace University a few years ago, that might have hurt his feelings.  But Dave Ramsey is the LAW in our house, and if Dave Ramsey says that Thomas is a nerd, then Thomas is proud to be a nerd.  I love my hubby a LOT, but he likes his perfectly ordered