I'd rather speak honestly...

I spent a few hours today carefully  

            (yes.  I can be careful.)

                       taking picture frames down from my best friend's walls.

A favored daughter's ballet photos.

                  A prized son's personality caught in a moment on film.

My friend has a decorator's heart and true talent.  I love visiting her home.  Her modest walls are covered in beautiful family photos.  But God answers big dreams, and my friend is packing up her starter home of fifteen years and moving to a bigger home with her family.

What a privilege it was to examine each picture as I took it down and carefully wrapped it... to wonder at the memories trapped behind the glass and the parts of their life that happened way before I came along.  

As each picture came down, my eyes were captivated more and more- not by the pictures themselves, but by the bare wall left behind.

My mind wandered out of their tiny town and to the apartment I share with the man I married a month ago.  I thought about the pictures waiting to be hung... engagement photos and wedding pictures... I thought about the plans I have for them.  I want to cover those walls so badly.

And I thought of that instinct that I have... to cover.

I thought about my own heart and the pictures that I have hung there.  Pictures of all the pretty, good things I have done in my life.  (Lest you bless me with sainthood, let's make it clear that there aren't many.)  I thought of all the ways I try to cover myself.  

Don't let anyone see that hole in the wall.  Cover that vulnerability.  A good frame fits nicely over that scratch I made.  

I can be an excellent decorator, too.

I think about all the work that I put into covering things up.  (Really, it can be quite exhausting.)

And I think of how badly Jesus wants to undo it... I think of how He wants to take those pictures down.

Not so that my walls will be bare... Not to expose me for what I am... Not so my shame will be seen...  But because His power is made perfect in my weakness.

This God who made me (Jeremiah 1:5)... who knows me (Psalm 139:1-12)... His power is made perfect in my weakness.  

And He wants me just as I am.

I gotta give this God a little credit.  I didn't see that one coming.  (mind=blown)

I don't have to cover up all the bad pieces of wall in my heart.  He's already got it covered.  He takes the used, broken, dirty parts of me, and He makes them something new.  But it's no good unless I let you see it.  

About a month ago, I bought a book on my Kindle that I would be embarrassed to name.  You know the one I mean.  I got sucked in. 

(I can justify anything, can't I?)  

In fact, I got sucked all the way into the middle of the second book before God really got my attention.  

You know how He can be?

It was that dreadful, beautiful feeling that Someone was sitting on my heart... that I was doing something that wasn't as beneficial as spending time with Him...  something that didn't matter a hill of beans in the face of eternity.

And He let me. 

He let me hit "buy."  He knew it could be my well-kept secret.  He knew I was going to do it before I did it. 

And He was faithful to remind me at just the right time that it's a narrow road.  It's not Fifty Shades of Grey.  It's black and white Truth.  It's a slippery slope... that thing that we allow ourselves to do... that thing that we can justify away... 

But it's a narrow road, friend.  

If He had not empowered me to delete that book, my mind would have been so caught up that I would have missed the beautiful things He had for me to learn about Him.  I would have missed hearing from the Lord.

He is so beautiful, and so faithful.  

So today, I'm taking down a picture.  I'm sharing with you that I am not holy... but holy is my goal.  I missed the mark.  He made it right, and my soul has more than 10,000 Reasons to sing.

And He wants to do the same for you.  

Would you let Him?